Why Forgiveness is Key for the Fresh Start You Want

There are plenty of adages and bits of wisdom about forgiveness. Something like “forgive and forget” tends to be one of the most popular. But most of us know it’s easier to talk about forgiveness than actually ofter a willing pardon to someone, including yourself) when a wrong has been committed. 

Unfortunately, holding onto feelings of hurt and anger or actively choosing not to forgive someone, does more harm to you than the offending individual. 

The power of forgiveness is real and beneficial. Whether you must forgive someone else or forgive yourself, the consequences of not doing so can affect your quality of life and hinder personal growth.

If you truly want to break free of your own chains, find freedom, and continue to advance your life, forgiveness is vital. 

Let’s learn a bit more about why forgiveness can produce the fresh start you want and deserve. 

Finding Freedom in Forgiveness

When you’re holding onto hurt or anger, as stated above, you’re only hurting yourself. If you choose to forgive, you won’t feel stuck in the past anymore. Forgiveness allows you to live in the present and even be more mindful. 

In turn, that can foster more gratitude for everyday things. Instead of holding a grudge and feeling down about it, you can appreciate the beauty of your life experiences. When you’re able to do that, you’ll continue to grow as a person and you won’t feel so burdened. 

So, let go of the past and focus on the present mindfully and intentionally. Release that pain, it isn’t helping you or protecting you. And it certainly isn’t punishing the person who upset you. You deserve better.

Reclaiming Your Own Power

If someone has power over your life, it can feel as though they’ve got a chain around your neck and are tugging you along, even though they may not realize it.

When you refuse to forgive someone, you actually give them a lot of authority in your life and future. Chances are, you think about them often. When you do, it could make you feel even worse. This limits your own personal power. 

Allow yourself to break free. Forgiveness is both a deliberate decision to choose freedom and a compassionate acknowledgement that humans are fallible and sometimes do harm. In effect, you give yourself permission to let go of an offender's influence. From there, you can move forward, free of the past. 

Feeling Better Physically

It's important to note that the hurt you’re holding onto can also impact your physical health. The body tends to respond naturally to negative emotions, and it can cause problems like: 

• Fatigue

• Insomnia

• Aches and pains

• Headaches

• Upset stomach

Think about it this way; when you choose not to forgive someone, you’re putting your mind and body in a constant state of tension. When you’re always tense and constricted, you’re not giving your body a chance to relax and repair itself each day. Forgiveness supports your ability to let go of that tension. You may find you can breathe easier and lower your shoulders. Perhaps you feel more capable of discussing the transgression without pacing or feeling claustrophobic.

Forgiveness can literally make you feel better from the inside out.

How to Forgive Someone

There’s no set way to forgive someone. Yet, it is important to remember that authentic forgiveness is more than just words. 

Recognize that it’s normal to be angry and grieve after someone hurts you. Resolution and freedom from the past must be based on thoroughly processed feelings. Processing your feelings and emotions is a healthy, helpful way to move past anger, sadness, and regret. Holding onto emotional pain for too long only holds you back and weighs you down with negativity. 

Acknowledge and share what you truly mean. Tell that person how they made you feel if possible. Use “I” statements. Let them know you’re choosing to forgive them - even if that person is yourself!

Take the Next Step...

Please consider some of the suggestions listed here if you’ve been mired in hurt, remorse and/or resentment. Work with a therapist can help open your mind and heart to a happier future and help resolve a difficult past. By learning how to process emotion and practice forgiveness, you can finally achieve peace and a productive fresh start. Let's work on your well-deserved freedom and life transition as soon as possible. Contact me soon for a consultation.

Facing Uncertainty: Key Strategies to Adjust and Find Purpose

In times of uncertainty, it can be hard to feel steady again. Perhaps your normal routines have been disrupted by the current pandemic. Maybe you’re tired of feeling cooped up at home, but you’re not ready to go out again, either. Or maybe you are feeling upset because you’ve had to cancel so many engagements. Now, you’re wondering what you really have to look forward to. Suddenly, nothing about the future feels as certain as it once did. You’re trying to get a grasp on your purpose again, but sometimes, that’s easier said than done.

It’s tough to get back on your feet in uncertain times. If you’re not sure what to do next, these tips may help you figure out a new path.

Allow Yourself to Feel

It can be tempting to try to suppress your feelings and move on quickly. You might try to brush your emotions under the rug and avoid processing your thoughts. But this method will only result in more pain and confusion down the road. Instead, you need to truly allow yourself to feel everything on your mind. Don’t try to rush this - give yourself all of the space and time you need.

Get Grounded

When life is uncertain, it can be helpful to rely on grounding practices to gain a sense of stability again. For you, this might mean creating morning and evening routines that will make your days feel a bit more predictable. Maybe you’ll want to start going for a walk around the same time every day. Perhaps you’ll choose to incorporate yoga and meditation sessions into your schedule for your mental and physical wellbeing.

Keep in Touch With Loved Ones

Sometimes, it can be tough to open up to your loved ones when you’re going through a difficult time. But your loved ones would want to know if there were anything they could do to help. You may feel nervous to admit that you’re feeling down and confused, but chances are, they can relate. It always helps to have a shoulder to lean on, so don’t be afraid to pick up the phone and call a friend or relative.

Take Time to Reflect

You may feel like everything in your life has changed unexpectedly. In order to decide what your next steps should be, you’ll need time to reflect on everything you’ve been through. This is a good time to start journaling on a regular basis. You don’t need to be a writer to keep a journal! And since everything you write down will be private, you’re free to say whatever you like. This is a space where you can be completely honest, so don’t worry about what anyone else would think.

Find a Way to Serve Others

Many people find a sense of purpose when they give to others without expecting anything in return. If you can find a way to give back to your community, you may find that you feel more grounded and confident in the future. When you volunteer in some way, you can use your talents to be part of something bigger than yourself. Even if things have gone wrong in your own life, knowing that you can help others is very fulfilling. You may even gain new friends from this experience.

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Looking back at the past few months, you may feel as though your life was turned upside down. If you’re struggling to adjust to the uncertainty of these times and build a new foundation for your life, talking to a therapist might help. Please read more about how counseling for life changes can boost a sense of clarity and improve your outlook. Reach out to us today to discuss your options for scheduling your first session.