Why Forgiveness is Key for the Fresh Start You Want
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There are plenty of adages and bits of wisdom about forgiveness. Something like “forgive and forget” tends to be one of the most popular. But most of us know it’s easier to talk about forgiveness than actually ofter a willing pardon to someone, including yourself) when a wrong has been committed.
Unfortunately, holding onto feelings of hurt and anger or actively choosing not to forgive someone, does more harm to you than the offending individual.
The power of forgiveness is real and beneficial. Whether you must forgive someone else or forgive yourself, the consequences of not doing so can affect your quality of life and hinder personal growth.
If you truly want to break free of your own chains, find freedom, and continue to advance your life, forgiveness is vital.
Let’s learn a bit more about why forgiveness can produce the fresh start you want and deserve.
Finding Freedom in Forgiveness
When you’re holding onto hurt or anger, as stated above, you’re only hurting yourself. If you choose to forgive, you won’t feel stuck in the past anymore. Forgiveness allows you to live in the present and even be more mindful.
In turn, that can foster more gratitude for everyday things. Instead of holding a grudge and feeling down about it, you can appreciate the beauty of your life experiences. When you’re able to do that, you’ll continue to grow as a person and you won’t feel so burdened.
So, let go of the past and focus on the present mindfully and intentionally. Release that pain, it isn’t helping you or protecting you. And it certainly isn’t punishing the person who upset you. You deserve better.
Reclaiming Your Own Power
If someone has power over your life, it can feel as though they’ve got a chain around your neck and are tugging you along, even though they may not realize it.
When you refuse to forgive someone, you actually give them a lot of authority in your life and future. Chances are, you think about them often. When you do, it could make you feel even worse. This limits your own personal power.
Allow yourself to break free. Forgiveness is both a deliberate decision to choose freedom and a compassionate acknowledgement that humans are fallible and sometimes do harm. In effect, you give yourself permission to let go of an offender's influence. From there, you can move forward, free of the past.
Feeling Better Physically
It's important to note that the hurt you’re holding onto can also impact your physical health. The body tends to respond naturally to negative emotions, and it can cause problems like:
Fatigue
Insomnia
Aches and pains
Headaches
Upset stomach
Think about it this way; when you choose not to forgive someone, you’re putting your mind and body in a constant state of tension. When you’re always tense and constricted, you’re not giving your body a chance to relax and repair itself each day. Forgiveness supports your ability to let go of that tension. You may find you can breathe easier and lower your shoulders. Perhaps you feel more capable of discussing the transgression without pacing or feeling claustrophobic.
Forgiveness can literally make you feel better from the inside out.
How to Forgive Someone
There’s no set way to forgive someone. Yet, it is important to remember that authentic forgiveness is more than just words.
Recognize that it’s normal to be angry and grieve after someone hurts you. Resolution and freedom from the past must be based on thoroughly processed feelings. Processing your feelings and emotions is a healthy, helpful way to move past anger, sadness, and regret. Holding onto emotional pain for too long only holds you back and weighs you down with negativity.
Acknowledge and share what you truly mean. Tell that person how they made you feel if possible. Use “I” statements. Let them know you’re choosing to forgive them - even if that person is yourself!
Take the Next Step...
Please consider some of the suggestions listed here if you’ve been mired in hurt, remorse and/or resentment. Work with a therapist can help open your mind and heart to a happier future and help resolve a difficult past. By learning how to process emotion and practice forgiveness, you can finally achieve peace and a productive fresh start. Let's work on your well-deserved freedom and life transition as soon as possible. Contact me soon for a consultation.